Little riding hood with conflict

That's right. Little red doesn't have enough conflict. A wolf attack,
grandma devouring, wolf axing story needs more than just blood and
gore - it's needs a sense of inner conflict.

Let's start with the wood cutter. How is he doing that fateful
morning? He's hung over. He has been drinking more than usual because
the forest isn't getting any bigger and he has figured out he has
maybe another 3 to 5 years worth of logging left. Sure, there's still
plenty of trees, but the ones that are left aren't worth cutting down.
His missus, sensing his unease, points out that the butcher, the baker
and candlestick maker are doing well and why couldn't he have studied
harder and gotten and better job?

While he was fighting with his wife, his dog got the bacon he was
taking for his lunch. He kicked the dog into the basement, and banged
angrily out of the house.

Two thoughts crossed his mind: he should take the dog even though it
had eaten his lunch - he had seen wolf tracks the day before, and two
he needed to sharpen his axe. It would serve that woman right, he
thought, if I get eaten by that wolf. That'll shut her up! And if I
leave quickly she won't have more time to nag me while I sharpen, and
at the same time I can sharpen my grudge on the dull blade - it's all
her fault the forest isn't getting any bigger. And off he marched.

Google Docs lost my document - my data is gone

It's true. Google Docs lost my document - my data is gone. I am not sure how many of my documents are affected. But one of my most valuable documents is gone for ever.

I didn't have a backup.

I couldn't imagine Google would let me know.

I haven't lost or broken something I truly cared about for a while - and the all together too familiar feeling of grief comes washing over me.

Thank you Elizabeth Bishop for rehearsing me.

Mixed blessings

it is lucky you came and it is unlucky you came
Rumplestiltskin is the father, but what is the mothers name?
Witches really do eat children, but not as often as they should.
Samson let Delilah cut his hair, but what blinded his love?
The 13th witch was not invited, but why wait 16 years for revenge?
The wicked step mother commands the huntsmen to remove his daughters heart?
Why does hansel and gretels own mother want to eat them?
How does hansel and gretel live with baking their mother?

Big fuzzy panda's take over the world

In a surprise attack, panda commando's staged a daring midnight raid on the people's liberation army secret nuclear weapons cache. Communist party spokespeople are blaming the united states for secretly training and genetically modifying the pandas when they were in the San diego zoo. Pentagon officials are neither confirming or denying these allegations. However leaked documents from both DARPA and the Rand corporation suggest the entire panda leasing program was designed to lull the Chinese authorities into what the documents classify as a "reverse Trojan" operation. Unfortunately the leaked documents were in the possession of staff report Jim Baum-Sue, who has been missing for several days. So far the pandas have not communicated any demands other than to say that King panda will make an announcement shortly.