Wrong feels so right

Getting ready for bed
Warm and cozy
I had been playing an iPad game monument valley a puzzle game
I was up putting. Dishes away looking at the glowing Christmas tree I had got from Ikea
Family had decorated it with decorations passed down From generations
I felt cozy
Everything was right
Family safe
House was safe
Cars were safe
Business safe

Then my collapse senses perked this is what the elites felt before the collapse

Then I thought how smug my ancestors must have felt trading with people's that didn't have access to resources like they had had - Christmas trees, coal and oranges in stockings. Some call it the womb lottery - as is inequality started in the womb - look into space - the universe is almost all darkness.

Then I remembered the YouTube video of 2050 years of population growth - from 0 CE extrapolated 30 years in the future. Bright lights sparking slowly and then faster and faster. Each light 1 million people.

How right? Have children. Spread the blessing. Make your family bigger. I have mouths to feed. I am a father, I have a wife and two children. Multiplied across the face of the earth.

For a science fiction book like Hari Seldin in asimovs foundation :

Rule - elites acquire resources by taking risks - ie. close quarters combat with a large herbivore using stone tools
Rule - elites are not long term thinkers - they focus on maximizing survival
Rules - necessary but keep them chained and never turn your back

And the farmers?

Take care of the elderly. Take care of parents. Make family larger.

Rules - farmers acquire resources by breeding
Rules - farmers do not want to risk their family
Rules - farmers planning is family planning
Rules - necessary but have to keep their breeding in check

And then what, the ocean said to Brendan's sand castle

Let's draw a house a life a family
Let's all agree it's the best
Let's agree that for a moment you have all that
You have all that

Your wish for a magazine perfect house
A feature film perfect life
And a TV commercial family
All come true

True for a moment

And then what?  What
Entropy returns the housing the earthk
Entropy bends your back and whitens your hair
And yiurnfamioy
Your family drifts away

Motivation.

There is no such thing as self-discipline. There is only motivation. The lucky people in the world are motivated externally, and the rest of us have to do it for ourselves. Most "successful" people delude themselves that their motivation comes from within. They're generally idiots.

When you suffer from depression motivation is impossible to come by. To me that is the defining aspect of the disease.

You have to find something that will wake you up and pull you out of bed. Go see the sun rise everyday or fold a thousand paper cranes this month. It doesn't matter what you're waking up to do. Pick something arbitrary and do it for two weeks. Waking up and acting tells your brain it's time to work and work makes you do something.

Debilitating lethargy can be a result of a broken loop that isn't triggering your brain's reward circuit for doing something. This is useless advice for someone who can't follow it, which is why I don't try to preach it.

Returning to the above, some people are trapped and feel like they can't get out. You've at least got a skill at mixing music. Wake up every single day with protools or fruity loops or whatever the kids are using and make a 5 minute track. It can suck. It should suck. It sounds dumb but having something to do when you wake up starts the reward circuits in your brain churning. Sometimes you have to train yourself to enjoy successes again.

Psychopaths get away with it because they don't perceive failure. People that suffer from depression don't perceive success. Your brain is a dummy that will do what you tell it with enough encouragement and you have to outsmart it and start feeling success again, even if it takes a few months of MGMT ripoffs or whatever.

Source http://bit.ly/1AjParE

a list for making lists of anime

Cowboy bebop

Samurai shamploo 

Ergo proxy

Trigun

Soul eater

Moon phase

My bride is a Mermaid

xxxHolic

World conquest zVeda plot

Lupin III Fujiko Mine 

Here now

I don't know any other way
I compete for resources
I use surplus resources to acquire the means to create more surplus resources
I have no mind of anything other

I could tell you a story
I could show you a picture
Or sing a song
But the best way is to buy what I am selling

Some men will make armies
Some will study and report
Some will build and engineer
Some will entertain and watch you watching them
Some will farm and shepherd
Some will mine and smith
Others will finance and profit
And some will rule

Until the air can not be breathed
Until the ocean can not be fished
Until the forest are cut down
Until the oil is pumped dry
Until the water wells are empty
Until the land can not farmed
Until the crops can not grow
Until the birds are gone from the sky
Until the beasts are gone from land
Until the sea level rises