Monday, September 10, 2007

Rumpelstiltskin / Rumplestiltskin v12

Rumpelstiltskin / Rumplestiltskin

An end of the world eschatological cataclysm, in which love, the
ultimate sacrifice makes all the difference in the world, where the
strong and mighty and proud and glorious are humbled, in dozens of
pages, with hundreds of words, and thousands of letters.

1. Once upon a time there was a poor old oil and gas producer named
Arthur Miller who depended on his daughter to troubleshoot the exhausted
oil fields that were always breaking down due to equipment failure and
sabotage. his daughter jeannie was very smart, clever, cute and feisty.
Has to be cute. Has to be feisty.

But she was so sick and tired of filling tanker trucks, keeping the
mercenaries focussed, and so sick and tired of keeping the pumps working
all day so she and her old father could earn enough money to eat. The
pumps were always breaking, the oil was always coming up either too
strong or not strong enough, or not at all, the staff were always
getting sick, getting shot or getting blown up, or just not showing up
for work, politicians always asking for more money, the mercs always
wanting more gear, environmentalists always protesting, and lawyers
always getting in the way. Not too mention the endless attacks of the
competition.

She was sick and tired of being poor, of not having enough to eat, of
having to pay too many taxes without sufficient representation, of being
constantly afraid of being kidnapped, of having to watch her father work
his whole life to take care of her and not being able to take care of
him now he is old, of the dishonest producers getting rich, of her
mother dying before she was old enough to know her, of not getting to
enjoy the life the other girls her age were enjoying - the parties, the
clothes and the guys.

And she was always, always, coming up with ideas to make them better off
than she is now.

So she sings "swinging on a star." "Would you like to be better off than
you are?" while she works on her plans for alternative energy sources,
for a more equal distribution of wealth, a reduction in global warming,
a reduction in pollution, a new ecosystem for the endangered species,
and ultimately a reduction in population, all the while increasing the
energy consumption per person.

her father, knew she was a dreamer, and that she couldn't accept that
the world was unfair and would stay unfair no matter how hard she tried
to change it.

2. One day when the president, his secret service agents, and some of
his share holders, and the police were driving by in their suvs, she
makes her father run out and kneel before the president's hummer with a
truck with a few barrels of oil on it. The police stop the convoy, and
take him down (face down in the pavement), and after he had been
truncheoned, frisked and handcuffed, the president waves the ss off and
asked what he wanted, the poor oil producer told the president what
Jeannie had asked him to him say - 'my lord, these barrels are but a few
of the many barrels that my daughter has made by spinning straw in to
oil.'

3. The president ordered the police that she be brought to him at once.
The secret service searched her and her plans, and then she courtsied to
the president and told him that of course she couldn't spin large
quantities of straw into oil yet but given enough funding, and here she
took out her plans, that by slighlty increasing taxation on oil and gas
usage he could raise levies to build processing plants that would
convert plants in to biodiesel and maintain the economy and avoid the
coming collapse of civilisation brought on by peak oil.

4. The president was not a nice man. He hadn't stayed president by being
nice. And he didn't like being made fun of (straw into oil -
ridiculous!) in front of his lords by anyone - though she was soo cute,
and obviously clever - he was furious and he wanted his revenge on her
by showing his lords that no one could get the better of him. 'Please
teach this man a lesson for interrupting us
and leave him in the street,' he said, and some of his accompanying
guards immediately started to pummel her father, who was being held by
two polices and beaten by two others. Turning to Jeannie, who was being
held back by two other police, he said 'and as for the girl, throw her
in the dungeon, provide her with a lab and straw, and bring me her head
tomorrow if she hasn't processed the straw into oil.'

6. In the lab, Jeannie sat with her back to the technicians and the
straw and cried and cried and cried. She was upset with herself and
wished she was back at home with her father processing the barrels of
oil into gas or pumping the oil into barrels instead of being locked in
the sterile, soulless prison-lab waiting to die.

7. After the technicians had gone home for the night, she had time to
feel truly miserable about dying the next day and leaving her father
alone - suddenly there was a knock on the lab door, and in came a small
strange man. Strange because he was so small and strange because he had
opened the door, but she hadn't heard the turn key turn to unlock it. He
looked her up and down and said - 'what will you give me if I synthesize
this straw into oil?'

8. Jeannie tried to wake herself up - 'I must be dreaming this. I must
be still asleep in my bunk-bed in the refinery.'

Jeannie said 'I don't have anything to give you.'

He said 'Give me that gold necklace around your neck.'

'But that was my mother's necklace. Don't ask for that,' Jeannie
pleaded.

'What good is the necklace if can't save your life? Do you think the
executioner will not slip it from your neck before he removes your head?
Would your mother want you to keep the necklace and die?' said the the
little man.

'What if you run away after I give you the necklace?' she asked.

He gripped her neck with surprising speed and strength - 'I could take
it now,' and then let go.

'Take it then,' she said slipping it over her head.

He put the necklace around his neck, and set to work configuring the
equipment, programming the computers, feeding the straw into the DNA
sequencers, and he began to sing a lullaby. And soon the lullaby, the
sound of the spinning separators and the hypnotic pumping of the vacuums
soon put Jeannie to sleep.

9. The sound of the prison door crashing open made Jeannie wake up in a
start. She rubbed her eyes and stood up. The technicians were coming in
to the lab, in front of the executioner and a guard. The technicians
stopped, and were standing in the room with dumbfounded looks on their
faces. The straw was all gone, and in its place was a barrel of oil.
They were excited, and pushed the guards and the executioner out of the
room and closed the door again.

10. The prison door opened again, and in walked the president with some
of his investors. The president blinked and gulped and rubbed his eyes.
He had brought with him some of his science advisors who whispered with
the technicians and amongst themselves. He had brought a priest
who wasn't sure it wasn't the devils work. He had also brought his
master refiners. The refiner poured some of the oil into a glass. He
looked at it, smelled it, stirred it, and tasted it, checking if it was
oil. He brought out his briefcase and ran a sample through a portable
spectrometer. Then he turned to the president and nodded.

10. A sly and crafty look fell over the president's face. 'So,' he said,
'you can synthesize straw into oil. You weren't lying after all. I will
put your talents to good use.' But Jeannie protested - 'my lord, I can't
synthesize straw into oil! It wasn't me - I swear! It was the little man
- he came in and did the work. I gave him my ring.' The president
frowned, and then called to the guard outside the door - 'security, get
me the director of the secret service this instant.' The head of the
secret service appeared on the guards cell phone, 'sir, what is it?'

'Jordy, did anyone enter this room last night?' asked the president. The
director of the secret service said 'no sir. I posted these two agents,
and reviewed the security tapes myself since you informed me of the
special event. and no one has come in or out.' The president nodded, and
the director signed off.

11. 'Jeannie Miller, it wasn't you that spun this gold? Was it the devil
that helped you as my chaplain believes? Did the director of the secret
service forfeit his life by failing in his duties and let the devil?'
the president laughed unpleasantly. 'Tonight I will move you to bigger,
better guarded lab, with more straw that my chaplain has sprinkled with
holy water for you to synthesize on your life in to oil, and we will
shall see what will shall see.' With that the president, very pleased
with his cleverness ordered the oil transferred to his Strategic
Petroleum Reserves and Jeannie moved to a larger medium security
lab-prison.

12. Jeannie lay surrounded by straw heaped all around her. Was that
small man really the devil? Then she thought of her dying tomorrow. Then
she thought of all the people she would never see. She thought of the
husband she would never meet, the child she would never have, and the
grandchild she would never spoil. She wondered what having her head cut
off would feel like. She wondered what would happen to her body. She was
doing her best to stay awake since it was to be her last night alive. As
she was starting to go to sleep a familiar voice said to her 'what will
you give me, if I synthesize this straw into oil?'

13. She opened her eyes. It was the little man. She made to run and
pound on the door - but the little man caught her by the wrist with an
iron grip. 'No,' he said. She opened her mouth to scream - when out shot
his other hand, and covered her mouth so she couldn't breathe. 'Not that
either. Will you behave?'

14. She nodded and at once he let her go. 'What are you doing here? Who
are you? Where do you come from? Why are you helping me? Do you always
hang out it prisons
waiting for women to show up that need straw synthesized into oil?'

The little man said 'I want something just like you. You want to live
don't you? What will you give me to keep your neck attached to your
body?'

'I don't have anything to give.' she said.

He said 'Give me that gold ring on your finger.'

'But that was my mother's wedding, the only thing I have left that was
hers. Don't ask for that,' Jeannie pleaded.

'What good is the ring if can't save your life? Do you think the
executioner will not slip it from your finger before he removes your
head? Would your mother want you to keep the ring and die?' said the the
little man.

'What if you run away after I give you the ring?' she asked.

He gripped her hand with surprising speed and strength - 'I can take it
now, just like I could have taken the necklace last night. And I didn't
run away last night did I?' and then let go.

'Take it then,' she said slipping it off her finger.

He put the ring on the necklace around his neck, and set to work
configuring the equipment, programming the computers, feeding the straw
into the DNA sequencers, and he began to sing a lullaby. And soon the
lullaby, the sound of the spinning separators and the hypnotic pumping
of the vacuums soon put Jeannie to sleep for a second time.

15. [ king appears - 2 times - still could be luck - need to reproduce
feat one more time to be a fact and has her thrown into a larger
prison]

16. [ jeannie alone - sure she is going insane - tries to work on the
project - but some details evade her - and things go poorly]

17. [jeannie worse than ever - the little man appears - nothing left to
give eh? give me your child then - and he completes the machine]

18. [king appears - overjoyed - jeannie has finished the machine and has
documented it - and they get married - but her father wont move]

19. [the little man returns for the child that is born - the agents
aren't fast enough and can do nothing to catch him - but she puts
herself in front of her child or she puts a gun to her head and he
relents - but a delay only - guess my name - 3 guesses or the child is
mine]

20. [multiple recon teams are sent out and come back empty the first 2
days - driving the mother insane - worse is the thought to lose her
child than her own life]

21. [the night before the day she will lose her child her father and his
mercs are out partying in a whore house, where the little man is singing
his own song, her father calls to tell her]

22. [the next day - the little man appears - penetrating layer after
layer of security and mercs, and bows before her - and she guesses his
name]

23. [jeannie gives the little man visiting rights]

joshua paul, handlemaker
neo code software - 100,000 year old ideas for 100,000 year old
problems
604 638 0668 phone 604 638 0666 fax
288 - 425 carrall street vancouver bc v6b 6e3 canada
www.neocodesoftware.com

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