You are chosen

Remember you are chosen
I choose you
When I wake up
I could be anything
But I chose you

I could be anything
A bank robber, a killer, a thief
But I go to work
I could be anything that doesn't break any rules

I could go to work anyway I want
I could steal a car, or hijack a bus
But I don't

But I don't want to be this guy
Not so much anymore

I could be anyone, anything
But this guy I am now
Not him
I don't like him

What's to like?
I mean really, really like?
Is the guy I am now sweet?
Or kind?
Or compassionate?
Is he a good listener?
Or a good writer?
Or handsome?
Is he gracious?
Or good a making things?
Does he make other people laugh or feel good?

No.
Not really.

I am not even that good at telling the truth.

So I could make a fact list
I know this things that would make a difference
That I don't do
And I ignore

Could these be the cuts that are killing me?

I can see the irrational
the urge
The impulse
That first big bang
That called me into existance
Billions and billions and billions of years ago

The cuts
The subconscious list of things I know I could do but don't do that I
should do but don't

Like stop eating meat
Like work less
Like sing more
Like breathe deeper
Like smile all the time
Like give thanks for every moment
Like love and be loved
Like loving unconditionally without being loved in return
Like eating until full
Like doing work that feeds my soul
Like writing artist grant proposals for beg borrow buy
And going to sleep before 2am