you thinks that's funny huh? maybe you'll appreciate my press release - of course not quite in character - but...
George Bush, President of The United States speaks to Sunday school kids about why it is the right thing to do to outsource prisons to third world countries, specifically China and / or Mexico. In front of a group of 5 year old he laid out his 10 point plan:
1. investing in the third world is a noble thing - can't just give them money kids - they need to work for it
2. cut costs to keep prisoners serving their term
3. by cutting cost we can lower taxes and stimulate business investment
4. inmantes gain valuable new skills - a new language - either learn chinese or spanish - both growing economies with lower unemployment rates
5. prisoners will benefit from cheaper products from the prison canteen, such as cigarettes and um, other products
6. this is an excellent oppurtunity to transfer our advanced prison technology to china and mexico
7. of course we are also helping our real estate developers at home, by making prime real estate that was used for prison site available for fine country estate homes
8. by helping our real estate developers, we no doubt help our cities gain an improvement in their tax base due to an increase in property values, both in an increase in taxable properties thanks to new development, and the removal of the prison which depresses neighbouring property values
8. eliminate potential innocent American deaths from inmates escaping
9. Guards can be retrained from savings as high payed offshore site trainers or supervisors
10. Great chance to improve the prison conditions for some inmates, ie. Upgrade 1 wing, with 1 local for every foreginer
Of course the major stumbling is shipping the inmates. However, we've shown we're upto it with our recent world class facility in Guatanmo, so this should be a piece of cake.
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