Satire, poking fun and sillyness

1. Charity
Did you ever get a catalog in the mail from world vision about how could
buy a goat for a family?

Well, the drug addicted need charity too.

In vancouver, the downtown east side struggles with drug and poverty.

Here's what catalog for these people could look like:

$50 for a years supply of bleach
$200 for a years supply of needles

Special breakfast at ikea
$100 to rend van for 12
$80 for 2 hours for driver
$13 for breakfast

2. Obesity
When I was young I dreamed about being rich, famous or powerful. Now
that I am older I have accepted that I will be none of them, I have
decided that at least I can be fat.

I mean obese. I mean huge. I mean so big people get out of my way. I
mean so big at the airport I get driven around. I mean so big I am
intimidating. I mean so big I need to drive a big car and have a big
house.

I wanna be big, mr big.